you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
