what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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