HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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