also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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