I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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