dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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