It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
