i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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