I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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