Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
