Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
