This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Holy shit dude........stairs
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
