Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
