Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
soo... how was my night?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
