Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How's work?
Spinning.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
