Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
