theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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