Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
