that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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