Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
