Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
