if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is classic penis vs brain.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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