dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
