Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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