stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
