I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
