Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
