moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
