Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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