i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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