nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
