Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There are leaves in my underwear?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
