I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
