before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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