Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize