it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
