But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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