That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I want to walk on stilts...naked
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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