Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
