so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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