i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize