He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
