question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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