I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
