how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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