So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
