im six kinds of drunk right now
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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