wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
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