Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
