Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
