i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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