Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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