Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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