i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I want to fling myself into the sun
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
