Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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