70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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