VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i was born a porn star she said
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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