Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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