Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
