he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
