Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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