I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We're too hungover to prance.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize