you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
